Sparkle
by Kristyn The Kid
Summary: A response to the Season 5 finale. An Izzie and Alex story covering all five seasons. This is what really happened these last few years and what these two were actually thinking. As always, story is better than summary.


**Izzie and Alex; finally married and tragedy strikes. Isn't that how it always works at Seattle Grace? I was angry and depressed at how it ended so here is my response. This is my first-ever attempt at completely serious writing instead of jokes and sarcasm and all that good stuff. If it makes you cry, I'll consider it a win.  
**

* * *

They begin work the next day. Izzie Stevens is standing across the room from Alex Karev who can't take his eyes off of her. He thinks she's pretty hot. He immediately figures she's working in pediatrics; that's where girls like her usually work. She tells him she's a surgeon. He tells her that surgery is hardcore. She tells him that she is hardcore.

Two weeks later. He's thumbing through a '_Bethany Whisper_' magazine. Is it possible that the centerfold model is this same Dr. Steven's he met at the mixer? He almost doesn't believe it. He starts calling her 'Dr. Model'. It gets on her nerves and he loves it. She starts calling him 'Evil Spawn'. He takes it as a sign that she likes him. He plasters photos of her in her underwear all over the hospital. Now everyone in the hospital knows that Isobel Stevens posed for '_Bethany Whisper_'. She finds him in the locker room, corner's him, even. She screams at him, and strips down to her bra and panties to make a point.

"You want to call me Dr. Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're still sitting on two hundred grand of student loans... I'm out of debt." She says through cold-eyes towards him. He still thinks she's hot. Possibly a little insane, but hot.

Three weeks later. Joe the Bartender needs surgery. Alex is friends with him. Joe owns a very popular bar. It is very well known by all of the doctors at Seattle Grace Hospital. He needs the surgery to live but can't afford it and is at risk at losing the bar. George O'Malley ends up saving Joe's bar with some smart scheme about experimental surgeries and insurance coverage. Alex does not like George, not even a little bit. In fact, he still has a black-eye from twenty-four hours earlier when George punched him in the face for giving Nurse Olivia (therefore giving him) syphilis. But when Alex finds out that George saved the day, he hugs him. And Izzie sees it. And inside, it makes her believe that, just for a moment, maybe Dr. Evil Spawn isn't so evil after all.

Four days later. He and Izzie become friends. He's actually happy for the first time in a while.

Two weeks later. Alex asks Izzie out on a date. She says 'yes'. He walks into the Emerald City Bar (Joe's bar that George is still being recognized as a hero for saving) where Izzie is seated, dressed and ready to go. She's wearing a light pink dress that makes his heart melt. Her eyes sparkle when she sees him. They actually sparkle. They go to dinner and he tries to impress her with every little thing he does. He wants to make her eyes sparkle again.

Two hours later. They're on the front steps of the house Izzie shares with George and Meredith Grey. During the final moments of the date, Alex leans in to kiss her goodnight. He hesitates then backs out at the last second. He wants to kiss her. He should've kissed her. He has no idea why he didn't kiss her. He tries to play it off cool and heads back to his car, kicking himself every single step of the way.

"Seriously?!" She yells to him. "Seriously?!" As it turns out, Meredith also had a bad night with her boyfriend, Derek Shepherd. Yelling to Derek the same one-word response that Izzie just shouted to Alex, Meredith climbs in bed with George who is now stuck lying between both her and Izzie. The two ladies complain to him, constantly repeating the word 'seriously'

"This is a very small bed." George mumbles, trying to find a comfortable part of mattress to lay on between his two friends.

The following day. George and Alex are trapped in an elevator while transporting a patient, a rookie police officer who got shot, to the OR. Before the elevator breaks down, George busts Alex's chops about how he didn't follow through.

"She shaved her legs for you," George mutters, fumbling with the patient's IV.

"And?" Alex retorts, clearly not seeing George's point.

"And you didn't even kiss her goodnight."

"She shaved her legs for you and you didn't follow through?" The patient asks groggily, his voice raspy.

"Hey," Alex snaps. "I followed through; I always follow through."

"You didn't last night." George snorts. While in the elevator, the patient crashes and is in immediate need of medical attention. Alex is given the opportunity to save him but, as he did with Izzie on the front steps, panics and freezes up. George takes the reigns, becoming hero for yet another day. In Meredith's words, Alex has 'lost his mojo'.

Two weeks later. All is well. Izzie and Alex are together again blissfully. It's Christmas time. Izzie couldn't be happier. She loves Christmas and everything related to it. Alex isn't interested. Lately, Izzie thinks Alex is acting different. When Alex has a slight lapse in his desire for intimacy, Izzie starts to wonder if the problem is her or if it's something medical (though he swears that it's 'never happened before'.)

A few days later. A woman who is having quintuplets is admitted into the hospital. This brings a lot of press to the hospital. All of the interns are assigned to the case. Dr. Bailey tells them that all hands are needed on deck. Alex gets stressed out because of his 'inability to perform' from a few days earlier. He sits in an on-call room when Olivia walks in to talk to him. One thing leads to another and suddenly, his 'issue' goes away. He knows he shouldn't do anything with her. But he does anyway. He regrets it almost immediately. He even regrets it during. But, Olivia is cute. This is how he justifies it. And then Izzie walks in. Alex has not answered the multiple pages sent to his hospital pager. Izzie tries to find him. She finds him at the worst time possible. She opens the door and finds her boyfriend on top of a nurse. She doesn't let it hit her immediately just because she knows to prioritize her patient before her own problems. She says something to Alex about it being time to deliver the quintuplets and turns around and walks out. Alex never regrets it more and misses the sparkle in her eyes already.

Alex ends up failing his boards. If he doesn't pass them the second time around, he will no longer be an intern. Meredith helps him. Cristina helps him. George helps him. Izzie busts them. She gets angry, storms out and ends up fighting with the three who helped him. At the end of the day, she does decide to help Alex. She slaps him to wake him up as he sleeps literally on top of the text books that he's supposed to be studying.

"Wake up! God, no wonder you failed your boards. How do you expect to learn this stuff? Through osmosis?" She yells at him after he jumps up. He looks at her, confused.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, confused at seeing her in front of him. She folds her arms over her chest.

"I'm a farmer. Okay? I've been drooling, puking, and crapping my pants." She quizzes him, assuming he'd get it wrong and wondering why she was even standing in front of him.

"You came here to help me study?"

"Well I'm not actually crapping my pants now, am I?" She says, annoyed.

"Why would you want to help me after what I did?" He asks. He honestly doesn't understand. He doesn't want her to help him. It hurts too much to look at her. He feels _that_ bad. She pauses, thinks about his question.

"Because…it's what Jesus would freaking do!"

Some odd minutes later. Izzie feels that he was learning, despite the anger and rage that was still bubbling inside of her. She's sitting next to him, sitting on an extra gurney pushed up against the wall. She's still quizzing him with symptoms and clues, hoping he'd get the answer soon so she could leave.

"Uh, is the nausea constant or intermittent?" He asks her.

"Constant."

"When, when did it first start?"

"After I worked in the fields all day."

"Do you have any allergies you're aware of?" He watches her face as she struggles not to cry. It hurts his heart.

"No." She says. The lump in her throat is hard to swallow. She can't do it and she starts to cry, quietly but obviously. Alex leans in closer to her, his chest tightening and stomach churning.

"Izzie..." He says softly. "I never wanted to hurt you"

"You didn't hurt me. I don't even know you. I'm a farmer." She says. She's lying.

"You-you're still the patient?" He inquires, confused now.

"What does it look like?" She sobs. He hesitates.

"It's organophosphates. Pesticide poisoning. Crying is a symptom, that's right?"

"Right," She says. And she cries. She buries her face in her hands and cries. He knows she's not pretending for a fake-symptom. She knows it, too. No one says anything for a long time.

Some months later. Denny Duquette is admitted to the hospital. He's a thirty-something-year-old guy with heart-problems. He develops a crush on Izzie and she develops a crush on him. Alex is jealous. He tries not to show it. When Denny finally leaves the hospital, Alex is relieved.

Some weeks later. Izzie and Alex, both lonely and probably sick of it, decide to 'rekindle' the 'good times' they used to have. It was supposed to be casual. It was fun for a while; they got along pretty well and were starting a relationship again.

A few days later. Alex pages Izzie to come outside. When she arrives, he surprises her with a treat; a cupcake to brighten her day. She smiles, kisses him. Everything, for a split second, seems happy. An ambulance pulls up. Denny Duquette is inside of it. He's sick again. Izzie rushes to his bedside, leaving Alex to himself. He throws the cupcake in anger.

More months later. Denny Duquette's dying. He needs a new heart. Alex and Izzie are not on good terms. He criticizes her for falling for a patient. She's angry at him for being jealous. Izzie has a plan to save Denny and get him at the top of the organ-donation list at UNOS. She'd cut his LVAD wire, essentially stopping his heart. His stats would drop down into the danger-zone. Once he was sicker, much sicker, she'd phone UNOS. She'd inform them of his worsening condition and he'd receive the heart. World-renown surgeon Preston Burke would be back from Mercy West hospital soon and he'd save Denny, right? The plan seems to be a good idea until Burke gets shot. She cuts the LVAD wire. Denny gets sicker. Meredith, George, Cristina and Izzie try as hard as they possibly can to save Denny and keep any residents, attendings or, God forbid, the Chief and UNOS, uninformed of what's going on. Thinking he has only seconds to live, Denny proposes to Izzie. Minutes later, he's unconscious.

Hours later. Illegally, immorally and dangerously, Denny receives the heart. A great surgery is preformed by Dr. Erica Hahn and finally, everything seems to be working for Izzie and Denny.

The next day. The Chief is irate. He doesn't know who cut the LVAD. He doesn't know what the fate of Denny Duquette will be. He doesn't know what the fate of his hospital will be. He screams at the interns, banning them from the OR and putting them on prom-committee for his dying teenage niece, Camille who is suffering from cancer and must miss her actual prom. All of the interns pitch in. Lead by Dr. Bailey, they plan the best prom that they can for Camille and her fellow students.

One hour later. Izzie visits Denny. She gives him 'an out'. She tells him that she understands that he thought he was dying and he was scared and the proposal doesn't have to be real if he doesn't want it to be. He tells her that his proposal still stands.

Later, yet. Izzie accepts his proposal.

More hours later. Izzie arrives at the prom in a beautiful pink gown. She looks like a princess. As she comes down the stairs, she sees Alex. He smiles at her. He thinks she is beyond beautiful. He was good at hiding his emotions. He had found a lot of time to practice it lately.

"Whoa, you look nice," Alex says, hiding his smile.

"Thank you," She says, her smile not hidden by any means. "So do you. Hot date?"

"Nah, this thing is cheesy. I wouldn't waste a decent chick on this. You headin' in?"

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go see Denny first." She replies. His fake-smile fades and he feels his heart drop.

"Oh, okay." He says. He watches her walk away. His chest feels tight again. He misses the sparkle in her eyes. He really misses it. He stays at the prom for a little while longer. He subconsciously envies Denny. Even with the faulty heart, Alex wants to have what Denny has. He wants Izzie.

One hour later. He receives a page. A page that makes his heart damn-near stop. He runs upstairs. Runs. In dress shoes, he runs. He finds his way to Denny's room and pushes past Olivia and Meredith who are in his way. Izzie is sprawled across Denny's dead body. Her pink dress still looks beautiful on her.

"Can you please just get out? I want to be alone with Denny." He hears her say. When he makes his way to Denny's bed, he speaks to her softly.

"Izzie, that's not Denny."

"Shut up." She replies, almost whispering.

"Iz, it's not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating he stopped being Denny. Now, I know you love him, but he also loved you. And a guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself. Because it's not Denny, not anymore." She holds Denny tighter.

"An hour ago he was proposing. And now... and now he's going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't it the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever heard?" She sobs. Everyone in the room is in shock. They all have no idea what to say. Everyone's heart is breaking. Alex lifts Izzie into his arms and brings her over into the chair near the wall. He holds her as she sobs into his shoulder.

An hour later. George and Alex walk behind Izzie down the long hallway to the Chief. Izzie confesses that she cut the LVAD wire and then she quits.

The next day. Izzie refuses to get off the bathroom floor. She refuses to take off her prom dress. Alex stays at the house but contributes nothing to helping her. He doesn't know how.

Months later. Izzie makes her way back to the hospital after a long time of waiting and struggling. She deposits her inheritance check for 8.7 million dollars. The Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic is opened with the newfound windfall.

More months later. Alex is recovering over the loss of his patient-turned-girlfriend, Rebecca Pope. Izzie provides Alex with a shoulder to cry on. Crying led to kissing. They both regret it. But they don't.

Even more months later. Izzie and Alex are a couple again. They're 'going steady'. Everything's fun, enjoyable, happy. Not too long ago it seemed as if nothing could ever be happy again. And now it is.

Three weeks later. Izzie is standing by the main entrance to the hospital. She's about to walk out. She stops, hesitates. Alex is far away from her, near the elevator, but sees her very clearly. It looks like…no, it can't be. Is she talking to herself? Alex is puzzled. Did he just see his girlfriend talk to herself? Why would Izzie talk to herself? Literally, stopping, talking to no one. She has been acting strange lately, he thinks. Maybe it's that heart-patient she had. The one that's reminding her of Denny? Was she seeing things, maybe? No. No way. He pushes the ridiculous thought out of his mind and refuses to let himself think it. Deep down, he let's himself think it.

Two months later. Izzie has cancer. A brain tumor. She's dying. Alex has managed to accept it, or at least he has gotten very, very good at pretending to accept it. He stays brave in front of Izzie. He does not allow himself to feel anything in front of her. They were married on what was supposed to be Derek and Meredith's wedding day. He had convinced her to get the surgery. He had consoled her when she shaved her head after the IL-2 made her hair fall out. He had done everything. He loves her more than anything. She is his entire world. And now she was going to die. It was taking every ounce of strength in his body night to break down and cry every moment of every day. But he does it.

Hours later, maybe days. Izzie's memory is shot. Her memory span seems to be about twenty-three seconds. That's what Alex has concluded. He must have told Izzie the same information two-hundred times. The surgery went great. The tumor was completely gone. Her memory sucked. She hated the Lime Jello. She gets mad when he won't give her the Jello.

Three minutes later. Alex snaps. He vents his emotions. He tells Izzie how he feels. He goes too far. He basically says that the marriage was a mistake, taking care of her is too difficult and that he's having a very hard time with it all. He thinks she will forget in twenty-three seconds.

One hour later. Cristina tells Alex that Izzie remembers.

"You remember?" He yells through pure joy entering her hospital room.

"'Pillow or morphine', I got the whole thing.'

"I'm so sorry." He pleads. "I didn't mean it." She smiles at him.

"Of course you didn't," She says. "You love me too much to shoot me up with morphine even if I asked you to. And my stupid corked-brain is coming back. " And at that moment, he sees it. He sees the sparkle in her eyes. The sparkle that makes his heart beat too fast. The sparkle that he's adored for the last two years.

"Oh my God, I was so scared." Alex admits, hugging her tightly. She laughs softly as she hugs him back. "I mean, I would've loved you no matter what," Another quiet laugh from Izzie. He squeezes her tight and he didn't ever want to let her go. "You're back."

One split second later. Izzie's arms go limp. They drop down to the bed, releasing Alex from the hug. He feels her body relax but before he has time to dissect the situation, he hears the beeping. Her heart monitor is beeping.

"Iz," He says, shaking her softly. "Izzie!" No response. Her eyes were shut. She lay motionless. His heart almost stops beating. "Yang!" He cries.

Four minutes later. They work tirelessly. The Chief, Cristina, Dr. Bailey and Alex work as hard as they can to keep Izzie alive. Until she flat-lines. Cristina tries to argue that Izzie signed a 'DNR', that this wasn't what she wanted. Alex says he doesn't care and looks towards the Chief for assurance.

"Screw the 'DNR'." The Chief yells. "Hand me those paddles!"

Ten seconds later. Alex backs against the wall. He runs his fingers through his hair in anger, in horror. He can't breathe. He's sobbing. Physically crying. Real tears. This could be it, this could be the end. He can barely see what's happening as he wipes the tears from his eyes. He sees the Chief shock Izzie with the paddles and her lifeless body jolts up one last time before everything fades to white. This is where his journey ends…

He wakes up, sweating. His pillow is wet. His face is streaked with tears. He's had this same dream over and over again. Izzie died eight days ago. His wife died eight days ago. He has barely gotten out of bed at all in the last eight days. He rubs his hand across his chin. He hasn't shaved in eight days. Stubble scratches his hand. He's out of breath; he always is when he wakes up. Everything seemed so real, so close. She couldn't be gone for good, could she? He could still see her, still hear her. It seemed as if he could still touch her. But he wakes up. Every time he wakes up. He wakes up crying, sweating and scared. He wishes he could wake up and find her next to him, asleep. But that was never the case. Izzie was dead. George was dead. And here was Alex. The man who loved Izzie and who never quite cared for George until he realized how much he meant.

He pulled the white sheet back up and over his face. It was still damp with sweat. He closed his eyes tightly. He was shaking. The more he slept, the more he could see her. With his eyes closed, he saw more than he ever thought possible. In his dreams, Izzie Stevens was still with him. The love of his life, his best friend, his wife would still be there. So he forced himself to sleep everyday. His body and mind agreed with each other for the first time in his life. They both just wanted Izzie. So, he slept. The cycle began again. He could see her. He could see her smile. And he could still see the sparkle in her eyes. That's all he needed.


End file.
